shake off the ‘shoulds’ to welcome a world of wants
Guest blog written for More Than Mums
Have you REALLY listened to yourself lately?
How often does the word ‘SHOULD’ come out to play?
We throw the words 'SHOULD' or 'SHOULDN'T' around so freely, sometimes in our conscious words and thoughts, and other times they bubble away in our subconscious, so subtle that we almost don’t realise they are there.
I SHOULDN'T have that extra slice of cake
I SHOULD do more arts and crafts with my kids
I SHOULD be more grateful for what I've got
I SHOULN'T worry what that mum at school thinks
SHOULD and SHOULDN'T can pepper our thoughts repeatedly in a day and can really weigh us down as they are laden with pressure, expectation and disappointment. Because ultimately, your ‘Shoulds’ are telling you that you that you aren’t good enough as you are - which is a really unkind and unhelpful habit to get into, and needs to STOP!
Our ‘Shoulds’ are often constructed according to an abstract set of standards projected onto us by society – not helped by the unrealistic influence of social media! We appear to have been conditioned to believe that if we don’t keep feeding ourselves these ‘Shoulds’ that somehow, we will deteriorate into an unproductive, unsuccessful and unmotivated mess.
It’s as if we are relying on those 'Shoulds’ to keep us on the straight and narrow - which is in fact a complete paradox! Because in reality, all that ‘Should-ing’ is so damaging to our self-esteem and self-belief, holding us back from stepping boldly and bravely into our happiest and most aligned selves.
So, how about this for a refreshing thought:
What if our ‘shoulds’ were actually signposting us towards our deepest wishes and desires instead?