combatting comparison in motherhood
Guest blog written for Mumernity Magazine
‘Comparison is the thief of joy’, so the saying goes. Which is why comparison in Motherhood can weigh us down so heavily. Because it’s ultimately at loggerheads with what we expect to be the most joyful experience of our lives!
As humans, our urge to compare ourselves to others is fierce and it can play out, sometimes sub-consciously, as our way of assessing how we believe we’re doing in life.
We often look to others to feel better about ourselves, but as our gaze drifts we can also inevitably end up feeling pretty damn inadequate and disappointed with our lot and filled with a sense that we are getting life all sorts of wrong.
Being a parent is probably the most important job we will ever do, so the stakes feel high to get it right! It’s the perfect thing to get perfect and as a result we feel this need to set ridiculously high and often unrealistic expectations for ourselves.
But parenthood is not conducive with perfection! It’s unpredictable, chaotic and repeatedly changing, with an incessant new phase or stage to navigate. When the goal posts are constantly moving it is inevitable that things won’t always go to plan. And yet our rational mind blocks out that perspective and we insist on loading ourselves up with the lofty expectations and unachievable standards that we observe, admire and absorb from others. Standards that we decide are ‘the right way’ or ‘the better way’ without actually questioning if they are ‘our way’.